Just a few short tips on apocalyptic fashion - 'cause I know it's what you all are gonna be thinking about when the world is spinning into a flaming mob of zombies:
A dramatic long cloak may look cool, but you may rethink that when you realise the large possibility of a zombie horde dragging you backwards into their grizzly waiting hands. Keep it tough and close. Leather is good. So is Kevlar. Unfortunately Kevlar’s a little harder to come across. So find some good leather or jeans. Sleeves can be either good or bad – claws can become hooked in them, but it might just be what stops you from getting slashed.
I don’t recommend wearing those stilettos you bought yourself for Christmas last year either. Wear some good sturdy, steel-cap boots like Dr Martins or some flexible running shoes. Remember the school kitchen rules. Knives dropped on soft shoes will slice your toes off.
Spent ages cultivating that gorgeous long hair? You should probably ruin all that hard work and cut it off straight away. Short hair means less to grab onto and rip off your scalp. Keep your hair out of your eyes, the zombies aren’t going to wait for you to fix your hair and get your fringe away enough to kill the zombie in front of you or fire your gun.
Long nails and earrings are bad. Both can easily be ripped out in a fight or a scramble for your life. One of the most important rules is to avoid pain. The pain from getting your nails ripped out will be nothing compared to having your intestines ripped out when you couldn’t hold the sword for the pain. So, avoid long nails. If you’re really fussy, when you get a couple of hour’s zombie free time, perhaps you could paint them.
Backpacks are better than shoulder bags. Keep it light and only full of useful stuff; ammunition, food and bandages.
I'll try to make more with the funny next week with the chapter 'Keeping your Head...quarters'
